…Spawned a Monster

May 12, 2012 Begin the Rant    Bad website filed under: Cherry Bombs, Duds, Pipe Bombs

This page is truly terrible. You’re telling me that you couldn’t be bothered to name your pages? You just leave them called ”Headline Page 1″? For fuck’s sake… And those pictures, pushed all the way to the sides? OMG. Click a link or two and you can see it just gets worse. This page is the horrible, twisted mutant spawn of Microsoft Frontpage and Peggy Gallagher. Hey wait… That gives me an idea! You see, when I was young my brother used to subject me to Morissey songs, and there is this page reminded me of one of the songs.

Sing this to the tune of November Spawned a Monster

Sleep on and dream of hits
Because it’s the closest you will
Get to hits

Poor twisted site
So ugly, so ugly
Oh poor twisted site
You bug me, you bug me

MS Frontpage
Spawned a monster
In the shape of this page
Which we decried:

“But Peggy made it, so
Peggy save it from
pity, sympathy
And people discussing it
A table of shitty gifs
What can make good of
this page that’s been done?”

And if your friends were there
Could you even bear
To click it full on the link
Or anywhere? Ooooooooh no.

Poor twisted site
So ugly, so ugly
Oh poor twisted site
You bug me, you bug me

MS Frontpage
Spawned a monster
In the shape of this page
Which must remain
A hostage to the coder
And the tags underneath it
A hostage to the coder
And the tags underneath it
A website where the sad, sad viewers
Must pause and close the blinds.

So sleep and dream of hits
Cause it’s the closest
You will get to hits ohh

MS Frontpage
Is a crime
Which I must
Put out of my mind

Oh, one fine day
Let it be soon
It won’t be clean or beautiful
But you’ll be browsing its links
In the lines that were coded
Written by something else

http://www.peggyg.com/

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